how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
