So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
