Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
