is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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