LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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