cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize