Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
