Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
