She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
