Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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