Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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