Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
