I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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