I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I made him laugh his dick is mine
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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