you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
