the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
