Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
there is glitter all over my balls
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