I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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