I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
