dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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