I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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