if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
