The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
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So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
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Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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