Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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