I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
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