dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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