Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize