As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
