I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
