Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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