coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize