I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
