so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize