...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
only if we run a train.
done.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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