apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
