some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
