you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
These tits shall not be calmed
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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