No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
