i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
