I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
