Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
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It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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