I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
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I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.