Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
tequila makes me forget i have legs
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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