you're like a bully in the Christmas story
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
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