Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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