Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize