Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
