I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
