some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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