i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I need to wash the frat house off of me
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
