Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
