Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I just forgot I was standing up.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize