just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
