Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
