carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
