I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
