You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
