my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
