is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
