You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
